Choosing a word of the year seems benign enough. Big deal, right?
That’s what I thought 5 years ago when my mentor and friend Christine Kane taught me to choose a single word to guide my year rather than making a New Year’s resolution. If I’d only known where it would lead me.
I’ve learned so much from this simple act over the years that I can’t help but share my reflection about it every December.
Strangely, in the beginning of 2012 a quiet little word kept surfacing. It was so subtle and plain that I barely noticed it. Actually, that was it! The word was notice.
I couldn’t wrap my brain around why this word kept tapping me on the shoulder. But since I trust this process I chose notice as my word of the year for 2012.
Seemed so bland. Ended up so bright.
Here are just some of the lessons notice taught me this year:
- While on vacation this summer with my family –
Our kids packed up and helped carry all the heavy stuff to the beach instead of my husband and I doing it. My daughter and I talked and walked on the beach more than we boogie boarded in the surf. The 4 of us played fun competitive games on the beach more than we built sand castles or dug giant holes. We laughed all together at the same things – at the same level. Our son practiced driving (ok it was a golf cart), and as we backed into bushes or leapt forward when we were supposed to be in reverse, my husband and I exchanged a look that redefined our parent-fear.
In those moments notice was right there with me.
Our kids are growing up. They’re taking on more of the load. They’re fun and kind and alternately frustrating and hilarious. But they’re not little anymore.
Notice seemed to hold up a sign that said, “You’re in transition.”
I drank it in.
- One typical Saturday morning I walked past my dresser and saw that the red jewelry travel case I use for trips was sitting out. And in fact, the case had become the place I always kept my jewelry. It just seemed easier than packing and unpacking it every time I traveled.
Something kept nagging me about this. My notice flair was going off.
By allowing myself to keep my jewelry ‘packed and ready’ it reminded me, consciously or not, of the next time I’d leave home. It allowed a chunk of my energy to stay on the move, to be ready to go at a moment’s notice, and therefore not be fully present to my family.
Our environment is often an expression of our feelings. (Look around!) Even though I love traveling, it’s often hard to leave home.
With notice sitting right next to me, I spent the next 15 minutes putting the jewelry back where it belongs and storing the travel case with other travel-only items.
Notice taught me that being fully present at home (or anywhere!) includes being completely committed to it in more ways than I knew existed.
- Sometimes notice annoyed me. It takes more energy at first, to really notice rather than go through the motions. To then take action because of all this noticing. To engage. At some point during the year, noticing became easier for me to…well, notice.
Notice began to simply appear instead of needing a sledgehammer to get my attention. It taught me that living this way gets easier with practice.
- I was getting ready for bed around midnight one Friday night. I was bone tired. My husband was out of town and my kids, who both happened to be home, were lying around my room talking up a storm. My first thought was, “I’m so tired. Why are they still in here?” You’ve been there, right?
Notice tapped me on the shoulder. I could almost hear my wise friend Colleen O’Grady saying, “Teenagers never decide to talk to you when it’s convenient for you. But it doesn’t happen often, so when they do want to hang out, just be there. Just listen. You’ll be amazed.”
So I did just that. And instead of being exhausted, I was energized. Instead of being annoyed I was happy. We all were.
Notice helped me see that these moments are fleeting, so BE THERE for them.
- If left unchecked, I live up in my head a lot. I always have something whirling around. Something I want to write later. A list of things to do. An email I need to answer or NANT’s next project.
It’s the decision to notice that pulls me back to the moment, to the real life right in front of me. During one particularly stressful morning I ran to grab a cup of coffee in our kitchen. To my surprise, my favorite mug was sitting next to the coffee pot. (See photo at top! The bees make me happy.) My husband had placed it there for me before he left for the gym.
Notice made me slow down, be in gratitude and reframe my mind and my day.
Notice taught me that life is in the details.
And even though it’s late into December and soon notice will be a word of years past, it’s still working on me.
My daughter appeared in my home office 6 times as I wrote this article. Homework question, Christmas gift inquiry, dinner plan confirmation, help to spell a word that she could’ve Googled in 3 seconds flat, permission to buy 3 new songs on iTunes (one for me!), and please view her newly acquired class picture.
I can sum up her true needs in one word.
Notice.
